Pride. A difficult emotion and concept to keep in check and balance. Too much makes one a conceited and apathetic person, but too little will leave one with little self confidence and feeling of self-worth. I have been battling this balance lately. I want so many things in my life; creatively, personally, and publicly, and at times I find myself doing more for what others expect of me, rather than what is best for ME.

This week has taught me something. Those that care and want to be involved in your life will make an effort, and those who don't, won't. Simple as that. It is indeed time for spring cleaning, and I am starting by cleaning up the way I let others treat me. I am looking out for myself, my interests, and my feelings. I will help others, I will be a good Christian, and I will love those around me. But I will no longer allow myself to become injured by negligent and impersonal "friends." This is not who I want to be. I want to be strong and proud.

I want to find balance. I will balance.

Live and love,
Reagan

"Cedar and The Redwoods" closed a great run last night and like every show, it was a bittersweet closing. This show was special. It helped heal so many wounds for so many people, myself included. As we were striking the set and waiting on the truck for load out, a few of us were reflecting on the journey from auditions to performance. This audition was the first I had back from Christmas in Alabama, after the news of a dear friend losing his battle with cancer. Matthew was with me at auditions that day. Matthew was with me during the rehearsals process. And more than ever before, Matthew was with me on this final weekend, these last two performances. I am proud of myself, and I know that Matthew would have been proud of the work that was done on that stage by all involved. Life throws you curves, and its not always easy or pretty, but don't forget that life is funny even at the hard times. Another great lesson learned in this show, is DRAMA IS FUNNY TOO! The best shows were the shows the audience wasn't afraid to laugh and enjoy the lighter moments. Getting too caught up in the drama and sadness makes for an extremely bitter and unhappy person. And as I write that, I think of Matthew once again. His laughter, his smile, and his passion. He's never really gone, no one is ever really gone. We keep them alive. They live on with us. We create, we love, and we live. 

Live and love, 

Reagan